windandstorm | (no subject)

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While the movie was on, it hadn't been so bad. It wasn't a silent experience, by any means (when Duo involved, it rarely was), but comments were directed toward the screen instead of each other, and any silence was easily filled by the film continuing on. Once it ended, it was harder to keep himself distracted from the fact that things were off-balance, and that made it harder to pretend that they weren't. It was a stupid cycle, but he wasn't going to let the fact that he'd asked about something he probably shouldn't have screw up their friendship. Especially since it hadn't. Not yet.

It wasn't the asking that was causing the problem, it was the fact that things seemed different, but they weren't different, not really, and that was seriously throwing Duo off. It would almost be easier if Heero had been angry, if only because then Duo's nervous energy could be used trying to fix things instead of trying to not mess things up by anticipating nonexistent issues. He was trying to ignore all of that, though, so he just leaned back in his seat and stretched. If he acted like there wasn't anything wrong, there wouldn't be anything wrong... right? "That one wasn't terrible. Told you I could find a good movie if you gave me another chance."

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Heero knew it, too. He was no fool. Well... maybe he was, simply by virtue of allowing himself to think about something he hadn't thought of in years, and only because Duo had asked a simple (if rather ridiculous) question that shouldn't have even made him think so hard. Truth was, he couldn't understand why after the fact, it was Duo who seemed to be behaving oddly. Sure, Heero knew how to focus on one thing and block the rest of the world out (in this case: focusing on things are normal, stop being stupid, which was surprisingly not as hard as he figured it would be) but if either of them was going to be awkward about it... why Duo? Or maybe Heero was just reading into things. Maybe everything really was fine. Maybe he was the one acting weird after all. Either way, it was giving him a headache to think about, so he was doing his damnedest not to. Too bad that wasn't quite good enough.

He rolled his eyes and shook his head when Duo finally spoke, popping the last of the popcorn into his mouth before he spoke, "Maybe next time, the whole movie will be good and not just the last thirty minutes."

"Hey, now you're just being picky." He couldn't exactly argue that the start of the movie had sucked, so he tried another tactic. "Better a bad start than a bad ending, right?"

"Depends on the movie, I guess." He considered, trying to think of an example, but gave up and shrugged instead. "The last thirty minutes didn't make up for the rest of the movie by any means. Meaning I pick the movie next time."

He considered throwing an un-popped popcorn kernel at Duo, but... would that cross some weird sort of line? But they used to do that before, so maybe not? ... Hell. Socializing was difficult enough for him, why was there a new layer? No, it wasn't new, he reminded himself. It had just been kicked to the curb years ago. Apparently, there was a difference.

"Yeah, yeah, sure," Duo said, rolling his eyes. It was probably for the better that Heero pick the video anyway, finding that one hadn't been the easiest quest. With that said, though, he couldn't find an easy conversation track to start next. The movie really hadn't been anything worth rehashing — certainly not good enough, but not bad enough either.

Usually it wouldn't be that big of a deal: a little silence couldn't hurt, or something else to talk about would occur to him. This time he was stuck on the fact that things were off, but trying not to think about things being off, and it was seriously interfering with his ability to make conversation. He snagged his already-empty cup from the sidetable he'd set it on and fiddled with it, the motion at least providing a temporary distraction.

Heero was able to take things a little more casually than Duo, at least as far as what to do next. What did Heero usually greet silence with? Why, he pulled out his laptop to check his email, just in case he missed something in the time it took to watch a (terrible) movie. He fully expected to be mocked for it, too. Maybe that would help...

Duo was stuck on playing with the cup for a while, but after a minute or two he looked up to find Heero on his laptop. He frowned a little — Heero was managing normal, why couldn't he? It shouldn't be that hard, they'd known each other for how long now? He shook his head, reminding himself that the whole point was to not worry over things. "You hit your three hour time limit?" he asked, almost (but not quite) managing the amused tone he was aiming for.

"I don't have a three hour time limit," Heero mumbled in auto-response, sounding a little distracted (obviously). "It's just quiet."

"You follow it a lot for not having one." This wasn't so bad. They'd had this conversation, or something very similar to it, often enough that it wasn't too far of a stretch to keep it going.

"I can go three hours without getting on the laptop," Heero said, rolling his eyes and closing it as though he were about to prove it, or something. He gave Duo a "look". "It's not impossible."

Duo returned the look with an "uh-huh" look of his own. "But is it likely?"

"It could be, if I felt like it." Heero shrugged... then smirked, a little. "We could bet on it."

"What kind of bet are we talking?"

He taps the lid of his laptop. "I won't touch it for the rest of the night unless you give me permission to do so." He paused, thinking for a moment, then shrugged. "You name the stakes."

"You're not even going to claim your own side of the bet?" It seemed way too easy, which should have acted as a hint that Heero was pretty confident, but.. this was Duo.

Heero shook his head. "I'd rather see what you come up with," he all but taunted, and the look that went with it was just as dangerous.

"If I win, you have to buy me dinner at the "fake Asian" place," Duo said, finger quotes included. After a moment, he realized that hadn't quite come out the way he'd intended it to. "And I mean that as food," he added quickly. "Not... anything else. Not that you would take it as anything else, I just—" Duo was starting to regret the fact that he'd turned down alcohol at the start of this adventure, it would be really nice to have something to blame for his failure to communicate. "Nevermind." He was really tempted to just... go, and the fact that he knew that wouldn't go over very well with Heero was the only thing keeping him from heading for the door.

Heero was already rolling his eyes, ready to defend exactly why it wasn't "fake Asian", and then the rest of it came out. He stopped, blinked, took a moment to just stare...

Alright. That was enough. He closed his eyes (probably to keep from rolling them again), mentally counted to three, and then raised an eyebrow at Duo. He wasn't mad, just confused. At least that much was obvious from his expression, seeing as his words could get twisted in ways he really didn't know if he'd be ready for.

"Duo... what's going on lately? Did something happen?" Did I say something wrong? Do something wrong?

"No," Duo said firmly, possibly the only thing he could be firm about in the whole mess. "Nothing happened, I'm just—" —an idiot— "—I don't know. It'll, I'll get over it. Don't worry."

"Get over what?" Heero thought about that for a second, realized Duo would probably try waving it off again, and added firmly, "Just tell me."

Duo shook his head, raising his hands defensively. "Nothing. Really, it'll be fine. Look, just.. pretend I didn't say that."

"I can't," Heero answered with a sigh, rubbing at his eyes with one hand. There was only one possible reason this could be happening, as far as he could see, and he was... always afraid it would happen, but why now? "What happened? You didn't used to have a problem with me being gay, and now it's coming up. What changed?"

"What? No. No, no, no. That's not a problem. Not even a little bit of a problem. It's just..." He took a breath, held it, then tried continuing. "I'm just stuck on," he waved a hand, not knowing how to put it into words, "for some reason, and I'll get over it. I promise."

"Then if it isn't a problem, why are you acting like it is?" At this point, Heero was running out of proper emotion, he was just so... lost. Nothing was making sense, but he knew getting angry wouldn't help. But what would?

"That isn't the problem. It's not.." Duo stopped himself before he finished that sentence, 'it's not you, it's me' never had any positive effect, even if it was true. "It's not the you-being-gay thing, it's the you-being-you thing, and yeah maybe the first one is involved because it's part of the second one, but it's the second one that's messing me up. Not that it's a bad thing that you're you, it's just a bad thing that I'm me and me being me is making you being you a problem."

That... didn't clarify a hell of a lot.

From Duo's rambling, Heero was at least able to take away that he wasn't the problem, which was a relief. That didn't mean the problem wasn't still there, of course, so Heero really didn't feel much better about the whole thing. Unable to think of anything to say, he just slouched back into the couch, staring narrowed-eyed at the coffee table (or beyond it, rather), somewhere between blank and thinking too hard.

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